


december 20th: dear santa

by watergator



Series: december fic advent 2020 [20]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bullying, Emotional Hurt, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kid Fic, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: prompt: letterdan only has one wish at christmas
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: december fic advent 2020 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035978
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	december 20th: dear santa

Dear Santa,

My name is Dan and I live in England and I’m eight years old. I’m in Year 3 at school and it’s okay I guess. The work isn’t so hard but the other kids in my class are kind of mean and I don’t really like them that much. 

I know that most Chrismasses I ask for new Pokemon cards and I apologise for how bad my handwriting probably was in my last letter but I have been practicing and getting better so I hope you can tell! Though there’s probably a million trillion children you get letters from, so I won’t be mad if you forget what my letter looked like last year. It’s fine, I promise.

I don’t want Pokemon cards this year. Only because I know my Nana already got me some. I was at her house this weekend, and I love sleepovers at Nana and Popsie's house. And I went to her room and looked in her drawers and I saw them underneath all of Popsies socks. And I saw some old people's underwear which was so gross but I didn’t tell anyone because it was weird, and I’d probably be in trouble if Nana found out.

I think I’ve been good this year. I say I think because I can’t exactly remember being terribly naughty. I argue with daddy sometimes and he shouts at me but I think that’s daddy being naughty, and not me. That’s what mummy tells me anyway. Parents argue all the time, they’re so angry and miserable and Nana always tells me not to frown so much because the wind will get your face stuck like that, so I don’t know why mummy and daddy don’t listen to her, because Nana knows best. And having a frown stuck on your face seems awfully bad, doesn’t it?

Do you have a mummy and a daddy, Santa? Or are you like God? I don’t like God that much, and I hope saying that doesn’t put me on the naughty list, because I’m being honest, and being honest is the best thing.

So I don’t want Pokemon cards because if you get me Pokemon cards and Nana gets me Pokemon cards, it’ll probably make her a bit cross, because I know that Nana likes to be right, and she likes making me happy because she says it makes her happy.

Adults are strange like that, Santa. Are you an adult? I guess so, even if you’re magic. I can't imagine you as anybody else other than Santa. When you were born, did you have a beard still? Do you always wear red? Have you always been fat? And I’m not trying to be cheeky, I swear. I just think that you’re most probably magic, and not like me at all. And being fat is okay. That’s what Nana tells me when she gives me extra biscuits after tea time.

This year I would like some friends. I know you can’t possibly put this under the tree, or fit them in the chimney, that’s why when I went to go see you last weekend with Nana and Popsie, at the big shops, I just asked for board games, because I know that it wasn’t actually you because that man was wearing a fake beard and he smelt so disgusting like poo and toilets, but I know he probably works for you. Like an overgrown elf, I think. 

I said earlier in my letter that the other kids in my class are kind of mean and annoying and I don’t like them that much. That’s because they push me down and make fun of me. They call me names and it hurts my feelings, and I don’t even hit them back when daddy tells me I should just be a big boy and give it back twice as hard when they hurt me.

I know I shouldn’t, which is why I don’t. Nana tells me I should use my big words and tell them to bog off (sorry for having bad language, please don’t put me on the naughty list for that!) but every time they hurt me, I get a little bit scared and I don’t know how to say the things I have in my brain already.

I don’t want them to be my friends because I don’t think we’d get along anyways. They like football and I don’t. They’re bossy and loud and I just want to play Sonic in the playground but they don’t. By the way, Sonic is a magical hedgehog that can run really really fast, if you didn’t already know that, Santa. 

So this year I’d like a real friend. The things I like are: Pokemon (you know that already), Sonic (you know that too), I like Harry Potter and I like acting and singing, even if some people think it’s girly, I still enjoy it. I like playing pretend. Nana says I have a big imagination. I like video games. I like Crash Bandicoot even though it’s a bit hard sometimes, but if I had a friend, it’d be a lot more fun to play and I could finally beat a really hard level that I’m a bit stuck on. 

I’d like a friend to have lunch with me at school, because I get a weird sad feeling in my tummy when I sit by myself. I’d like a friend to come over and play after school because walking home alone is boring.

So. Santa, I know you probably can’t  _ give  _ me a friend on Christmas, because I’m not stupid and I know how everything in your business works. But I’d like you to work your Santa Magic and maybe make sure that there’s someone that wants to be my friend. They don’t even have to go to school with me, they can be really far away and I can just write them a letter. Or an email, because that’s what grownups do. And then maybe if I write him an email then we can be good, good friends and I can go over to his house to play. Only because my house is so boring and gross.

I hope that it’s not too much to ask for. I’m hiding this letter under my pillow, so if you’ve found it, you’re very clever, because I know better than to leave it by the fireplace, because if mummy reads it, which I know she will, she’ll want to talk to me, and I’d rather not talk to her about the sad stuff, which is why I’m writing it to you. Because I know you’ll listen, Santa. 

I have also left out some mince pies and a glass of whiskey. I didn’t know you drank alcohol but daddy said it was a nicer treat than milk, and I can’t really argue with that, so I hope that the drink is okay and you won’t get too drunk. There’s carrots out on the front step for every reindeer. Please could you give them a kiss on the nose from me? Their fur looks like it would be very soft and fuzzy! Just like my bear. He’s tucked up beside me, by the way. I’ve had him since I was a baby.

Thank you for reading my letter. Please write back if you can. It’s fine if you can’t, because there’s a million trillion other children, and I understand if maybe you got a bit of a cramp in your hand writing all those letters after a while.

Have a good Christmas.

Love from,

Daniel Howell. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


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